Monday, February 27, 2012

Drifting a p a r t.


When friendships go on a diverging path...
There comes a point in some friendships were it's too broken to fix. This is coming from past experiences and just what I've come to realize. Facebook is probably not the best indication of friendships, but I've seen a lot of inseparable best friends become the worst of enemies through this social network.
You think after high school the childish fighting should stop, it usually does, but in some cases bitches stay bitches. It's so weird looking back and wondering how so many of my really close friends became strangers. There obviously comes a time where people change and many times this draws a wedge between weak friendships. You know someone is meant to be in your life when they stick around through everything. 

Recently, I have had a falling out with a friend. 
One of the most awkward situations is not talking to one of your best friends for like 6 months and then all of a sudden trying to make everything go back to normal.  Where do you even began? How do you just forget everything that happened before and just start again? It's very common for this to happen but it seems to me that if it happened in the first place this friendship isn't as solid as I thought. Everyone and every friend is different, I know that but I know for a fact that with some of my other friends this could never happen. Who are we kidding, we couldn't last a few days let alone 6 months without speaking to each other! 

Getting older I came to terms with a few things about friendships
1. If they are supposed to be in your life, they will.
2. If they make no effort to be in your life, forget them.
3. If they there interests are for themselves only, drop them.
4. Forgiving and forgetting is easier said then done. 
5. People mess up, if they are truly apologetic, forgive them.   



Drifting apart happens. Always remember though if a friendship is important to you, make an effort, it is not a one way street.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Loving YOU.

Love will come when it comes. Many times us girls tend to create this absolute insane thought in our head that we are going to be alone forever just because we are single right now. This is very wrong and probably not healthy in more than a few ways. First off ladies you need to know something, in order to be in a loving relationship, you must love yourself equally. This does not mean to always put your needs before his or to care only about yourself. Some people may not realize this but the relationship you have with yourself is above all, the most important relationship you need to work on. How can you be happy with someone else, when your not happy with yourself. You know this rule about your inner relationship does not only apply in love but in life as well. It is important to have that ability even through the toughest times to mentally help yourself. 


1. To the ladies who need attention ALL the time.
The fact that you crave compliments and do things purposely for a reaction from others is not a promising way of working on your inner relationship. If you actually think others compliments will eventually mirror your own thoughts about yourself, you are completely wrong. You are tarnishing your relationship with yourself because any positive things you think about yourself have become on the standards of others. If you can't give yourself the attention you deserve you shouldn't be getting it from anyone else.

2. To the ladies who can't be alone. 
Do not go back to the man who treated you like scum because you can not be alone. Why does he deserve 3rd and 4th chances? Because you cant stand being by yourself? This is no excuse. If you are in this position, you inner relationship is on a severe spiral.You are essentially causing more damage to yourself because it is only going to get worse between you guys. Get a hold of yourself, realize he is not the only one out there. There is someone who isn't going to need to use those 2nd and 3rd chances because he won't mess up the first time. With you staying with someone who isn't good for you, you are missing other opportunities. Realize your worth and get out!

3. To the ladies who don't demand respect.
You are a women. If anyone treats you in a disrespectful manner, they do not deserve your attention nor your feelings. If a man does not treat you like an equal, puts you on a pedestal, or worships the ground you walk on he is not worth it. This does not mean he should be your dog, but in a realtionship you are just as important as the other person. If there ever comes a time when the respect begins to decline, you need to quickly deal with the matter before it becomes too late. Demand the respect you deserve.  

4. To the ladies who have had demeaning relationships in the past.
Your past does not define who you are. If you have been in abusive or disrespectful relationships before, you have taken the first step of working on your own relationship because you realized what it is you don't deserve. Now this is the time where you understand what you do deserve. Do not get into another relationship with a person you see the same patterns with. At the end nothing has changed just substituted.   

5. To the ladies who don't think they are beautiful. 
Not even the most beautiful girl in the world wakes up feeling like the most beautiful girl in the world. It is very normal to feel down sometimes but to hate what you look like all the time is not okay. God made you who you are for a reason, and no matter what anyone says, it is you who needs to realize your true beauty. The way you view yourself is your reflection on life. Tell yourself everyday that no matter what they say, you are beautiful in every single way.