Torn Between

What do you do when your family and the one your in a relationship with don't get along? The ideal for any relationship is that everyone loves one another, but what about the relationships where it isn't like that? I am strictly talking about immediate families and your other half. Probably one of the hardest obstacles to overcome in a relationship is being torn between your family and your lover. 

To me one of the most important characteristics in a guy is how he treats my family. If he does not treat them with respect they deserve, there is a serious problem. If you notice at some point that the respect between your boyfriend/husband/lover has vanished toward your family you must act quickly because it is going to be a treacherous road ahead if not dealt with immediately. You should feel comfortable around all of the people you love and it can be quite hard to do if there's some bad blood in between the two parties. When it comes to parents it is obviously a given on how a man should act towards them but this also applies to siblings as well. You can't choose your family, they are who they are and he either needs to accept them or you are bound to have problems in the future.

Now what if his family isn't respectful or accepting towards you, what's a girl to do? Well first off you need to speak to him about it directly and not ever create an argument with the family. Things can get a lot worse with words that you can never take back. When your feeling that there is a problem evolving you need to not push it aside and hope it gets better with time, because chances are it won't. Not feeling comfortable around the people who are so close to your significant other could cause problems within the relationship. They can have a tremendous effect on his decisions. Try to connect with at least one person in his family. I know it seems stupid to have to prove yourself to someone but sometimes you just have to show people who you really are. Once they have a judgment on you it's almost like a permanent stain that you cant get off of your fav shirt, you can just make it lighter. 

Family matters are never easy to deal with especially when they primarily involve you or your partner. Nothing is harder than being stuck in the middle.

-XX T