Friday, October 24, 2014

The Seven-Year Itch

The seven-year itch is basically synonymous with the classic imagery of Marilyn Monroe and her white dress flowing up. But reality isn’t as pretty when the seven-year itch disturbs your relationship. The phrase is derived from a psychological theory that after seven years of marriage, the interest in the relationship declines.

 At 15 I met my guy, never did I think that we were in it for the long haul, let alone be celebrating our 7-year anniversary. At that age he was taking me to Ultra Music Festival and buying me the latest Dolce & Gabbana shades and he excited me. Seven years later, after a horrible shift at work I grabbed an adult blueberry lemonade (nothing like a little liquid courage) from the local pub with a girlfriend and swore to her that when I get home I am going to lecture my boyfriend on how he has been failing to reach up to his expected standards of perfect. I finally get home to our shared abode to have him tell me,“I don’t know what I want anymore.” Hm, well that’s an interesting statement considering I am fucking perfect.

I let it soak in and then I thought about Marilyn. I thought, “okay,this happens”, men after seven years get bored  and maybe he wants other things; after all we’ve been together since he was 18. Maybe he needed to explore and realize just how awesome I really am. Of course these were some of my thoughts after all of the other morbid ones
subsided. I decided I would never force anyone to be with me. I know my worth and I know that in the end, I’ll be okay. I moved out of our house and moved in with my parents. My parents who should have been my support system were more worried that I would end up alone and not with their perfect, Jewish future son-in-law. Essentially he was perfect. He was just going through a mid, mid life crisis and had to figure himself out. I obviously reassured them of my greatness and told them I am a badass bitch who can handle anything. “I am the
strongest person I know,” I told them, “ if you put me in a jungle I’ll come out alive.”

During the span of a month and a half I was a composed mess.  I religiously jammed to Sam Smith’s Latch, acoustic version, and Banks’ Brain was my anthem. I kept myself busy and my friend who had just lost her job probably hated me. Every weekend I dragged her to South Beach and demanded we raged. I had to get out some of my anger and it seemed easier on the dance floor with a $20 drink in my hand.

I would get random texts from my ex, which seemed weird to say, about things like bills. If I learned anything it’s asking when the AT&T U-Verse bill is due three different times was his version of reaching out to me. We started dating circa 2007; homie hasn’t exercised his dating game in quite a while. But in the form of bills he was making
an effort to come back into my life. I reassured him that if he was going to try to come back into my life and essentially win me back, he was going to have to work very hard. He needed to really feel what it was like to have lost me so that he could appreciate me fully. After a few dates and refusing him of sex, during the next month I felt like a goddess. He seemed different but I knew it was only because we really missed each other.

This break taught me about myself. I knew that I loved him but I also knew that if we were to get together again it wasn’t because I couldn’t live without him, it was because I didn’t want to live without him. Now four months later we are moving into our new home and things are back to normal and the sex is better. 
Moral of the story: Get dumped and the sex gets better.

xx




Disclaimer : This is a writing sample I submitted for a job posting and fit with the voice of the website. 

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

BACK & BETTER

Okay, okay I'm back! Sorry for the selfish intermission but it had to happen. I believe you should never stop doing something you love. Writing has always been my escape and has always helped me get through certain situations. During these past two months I took a break from writing on here but I did not stop writing. Relationships and empowering people have always been two of my favorite things to write about but at this point of my life, I needed to do a little soul searching before I could be completely open and honest with my situation. Throughout the interim I kept myself very busy with my internship and it was there where I continued to write. Since I’m interning at MIAMI magazine everything I’ve been writing about has been about the magic city. Here are some of the links to my featured articles for your reading pleasure:


I have so many stories, experiences, and exciting news to share with everyone, but I’d rather keep you on your toes.

Stay tuned.

Xx G 

Monday, May 19, 2014

Entering Reboot Mode

Sometimes we need to take a break from the things we love. To reboot, rethink, and reaffirm. Right now, I'm at a place in my life that is very foreign to me and I am slowly trying to peel back every layer from this experience to understand it better. I feel it is only right for me to share with you readers, not only the ups in my life but also the downs. As of now I'm unsure what happens next. I need some time to understand a transition of this kind and I just wanted to inform you that I'll be taking a mini break from The Other Best Friend. Hopefully this break will be so short you won't even have the time to miss me! TOBF is my therapy, to write helps me heal. I will be back to lace you life with goodies, I'm just taking a little vacation from blogging but this vacation can only help future posts.

I'll be back so soon.
Germaine Benson 

Friday, May 9, 2014

Triple A: Insurance Policy for Realtionships

All relationships need roadside assistance. I've finally figured out the three tools every relationship needs when it is having trouble. Even the perfect relationship needs some TLC sometimes. This is when the triple A's work their magic and don't get it twisted, this needs to be practiced from both sides of the relaysh. There is a certain time where everyone wants to be appreciated, get an apology, or for our significant other to be more affectionate.  

1. Appreciate- A little appreciation goes along way. People naturally want to feel appreciated, whether they did something big or small. It is so important to make the person your with feel good about themselves and appreciate all the things they do for you on a daily basis. I'm in no way proclaiming that you must say thank you for every little thing, but sometimes take a moment and realize all the things your s.o. does for you and show them how much you appreciate them. 

2. Apologize- Contrary to One Republic, It's never to late to apologize. I don't mean like a plain old "I'm sorry". I mean like a seriously sincere apology for something you did wrong. There is nothing I hate more than an apology to shut me up. If you do something wrong, you should grow a pair and own up to it. Anything that even slightly hurts your other half's feelings deserves a full fledge apology. I'm sorry I'm not sorry, but sincere apologies and admitting your wrong are super important in a successful realtionship! Make up and make love. 

3. Affection- With true love comes affection and one cannot survive without the other. With emotional love comes the physical romantic love. There is a time and place to show affection, and sometimes after a fight that is  the only thing your other half needs. After you've apologized it is important to literally hug it out. Sometimes even after arguments are over and laid to rest, emotions are still bruised. The reassurance of affection helps the mending process go faster.   


Xx 

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Summer Internship: MIAMI Magazine

You know that feeling you get when you try on a shoe and it's the perfect fit, thats how I felt when finding this MIAMI magazine editorial internship. The search for the perfect internship was not an easy one. I'm not the kind of girl who just settles. When I want something I am very persistent.  I was determined to intern at a major publication in the Miami area. I had applied for OceanDrive and Deco Drive and I never heard anything back. I felt like I did everything possible for a shot at an interview with those two, yet somehow they never got back to me. I wasn't ready to give up yet. My mother, who works at a high-end salon, pimps me out, like every other mother should do. A regular client of the salon works for MIAMI and my mom mentioned to him that I was pursuing a journalism degree. After chatting with him he put me in contact with someone else who essentially set up an interview with me.
Last Monday my interview was at 11:30 a.m. and I got to the office a bit early. It's nestled in the chicest area of Miami, the design district. I get to say good morning to Sir Christian Louboutin and Prada every day. The interview went very well and I was told I would hear back from them in about a day or two. After three days passed, I was concerned but refused to let this slip through my fingers. I was excited about this opportunity and felt that I would learn so much from this experience. I then emailed my interviewer saying how excited I was to be considered for the internship. Finally after a week that seemed to go by excruciatingly slow, I got the good news via email. It gave me the boost I needed, this is what I want to do in life. Even though I am starting from the very bottom of the food chain, I'll be getting real hands on experience. Once again I am so fortunate to be getting this opportunity and I will be constantly posting about my experiences through out the internship!

Xx
G




Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Social Media and How It Effects Your Relationship

         Most of us have developed unhealthy relationships with social media sites like Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.  When selfies, #hashtags, and likes are some of your priorities, you've reached the detrimental limit. Sometimes those unhealthy relationships with our social media accounts overlap with our real life relationships and have a negative effect. Don't get me wrong; social media is a great platform for other things, like promoting a blog or staying in touch with people all over the world. 
         I have a unique case on my hands. My relationship is seldom splashed all over my wall and newsfeed. Boyfriend is not connected to any of the social media sites. He never really craved the need to follow everyone and create an account, let alone post constantly about his life. I understand where he comes from in some aspects and with others I don’t, but either way I respect his decision. So in my relationship social media has never played a crucial role. My passwords are always available and I’ve never had to worry about ladies lurking on my man.
         In other relationships fights have erupted and break ups have resulted from what happens underneath the wall posts. It’s the shady private messages and the comments that aren’t visible, that make it easier to be unfaithful. People often portray themselves differently online and that can also create problems. No one wants to be with a self-centered egotistical person who doesn’t stop posting selfies. Sometimes people even think that the grass could be greener on the other side with someone else and temptation kicks in.
         If you are constantly bickering with your other half about social media, take a step back and realize what is more important. At the end of the day the person your cuddling with is more important than the number of followers you have. If it isn’t, you need to reconsider the relationship you want to be in.

xX

G

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Leave the Boys Behind and Make Room for the Men

Ladies it is time to let go of the boys who play games. If you're spending so much of your time with a boy who isn't serious about you, you're wasting the time that could be spent meeting a real man. If you're looking for something casual then that's okay play on, but for the ladies complaining that the guy they're with isn't serious enough, your issues are only going to get worse. You can't turn a boy into a man, that's something that comes from within and trust you can't rush that process. I read this article 13 Ways You Know You're Dating a Grown-Ass Man and had to share it with my lady friends who are confused about the definition of a Man. I decided to make my own list that puts a little twist on the articles current list. 

1. He supports your dreams and goals. He never will tell you that your not capable of  doing something. 

2. He trusts you. He doesn't need to look over your phone and see who your talking to. If you wanted to see his phone for any reason, he has nothing to hide and hands it to you. 

3. He has his shit together. He has goals and aspirations and is working towards them. 

4. You are not his only interest. He has friends and does other things other than fulfill your every need and encourages you to do the same.   

5. He doesn't play games. He is straightforward with his feelings and doesn't ignore you like a child would. 

6. He is close with his family and respects yours. It says a lot about a man who doesn't care to have good relationships with his family, let alone yours.

7.  He introduces you to people and makes it known that you are his. There is no confusion on where your relationship stands because you've already discussed it. 


xX