Tuesday, November 27, 2012

The Come Back

Hey there! It's been quite some time huh? 
Well, I'm back and after the past year I've had, I've got plenty of writing material; So no worries, I'm not going anywhere. After one of the most glorious experiences in my life, spending the last year living in Los Angeles, there is a lot I've learned. A lot of things have changed. The way I view myself, others and life itself have veered into different directions then where they use to lead. 

Me 
Before I moved to LA I was constantly surrounded by my boyfriend, friends, or family. The only time I really had by myself was probably the commute to school twice a week. So you can understand when I first moved to the west coast, I felt quite alone. Well I can absolutely convey that the more your with yourself, the more you learn who you really are. I became to appreciate my loneliness, because sometimes you must endure.  Having that time with yourself is probably one of the most important things you can do for yourself. Yea it's awesome being around people, don't get me wrong, but that relationship you build with yourself and your thoughts can be pretty powerful. My therapy for anything was hiking. It was such an amazing outlet for me to reflect on myself, a sort of meditation, that I truly do miss!




Others 
I'll tell you the person I am today has been greatly altered by the amazing people I've interacted with recently.I had this bad habit beforehand judging people before I got to actually know them(guilty). Well to my pleasant surprise I really began to appreciate people more for having different views on life or helping me see things differently. Sometimes when you surround yourself with people so similar to you, your also inhibiting yourself from growth. It's such a beautiful thing to hear where other people came from and the stories they have lived. A little before moving I was really worried I wouldn't find genuine people, but the friendships I've made have definitely proven otherwise. These incredible individuals have forever changed my life and touched my heart.




Life: this weird, beautiful, interesting, chaotic, and scary adventure we are all on. Some days are great, some are hard, but all are a blessing.

Xx- G 

Monday, March 19, 2012

Torn Between

What do you do when your family and the one your in a relationship with don't get along? The ideal for any relationship is that everyone loves one another, but what about the relationships where it isn't like that? I am strictly talking about immediate families and your other half. Probably one of the hardest obstacles to overcome in a relationship is being torn between your family and your lover. 

To me one of the most important characteristics in a guy is how he treats my family. If he does not treat them with respect they deserve, there is a serious problem. If you notice at some point that the respect between your boyfriend/husband/lover has vanished toward your family you must act quickly because it is going to be a treacherous road ahead if not dealt with immediately. You should feel comfortable around all of the people you love and it can be quite hard to do if there's some bad blood in between the two parties. When it comes to parents it is obviously a given on how a man should act towards them but this also applies to siblings as well. You can't choose your family, they are who they are and he either needs to accept them or you are bound to have problems in the future.

Now what if his family isn't respectful or accepting towards you, what's a girl to do? Well first off you need to speak to him about it directly and not ever create an argument with the family. Things can get a lot worse with words that you can never take back. When your feeling that there is a problem evolving you need to not push it aside and hope it gets better with time, because chances are it won't. Not feeling comfortable around the people who are so close to your significant other could cause problems within the relationship. They can have a tremendous effect on his decisions. Try to connect with at least one person in his family. I know it seems stupid to have to prove yourself to someone but sometimes you just have to show people who you really are. Once they have a judgment on you it's almost like a permanent stain that you cant get off of your fav shirt, you can just make it lighter. 

Family matters are never easy to deal with especially when they primarily involve you or your partner. Nothing is harder than being stuck in the middle.

-XX T

Monday, February 27, 2012

Drifting a p a r t.


When friendships go on a diverging path...
There comes a point in some friendships were it's too broken to fix. This is coming from past experiences and just what I've come to realize. Facebook is probably not the best indication of friendships, but I've seen a lot of inseparable best friends become the worst of enemies through this social network.
You think after high school the childish fighting should stop, it usually does, but in some cases bitches stay bitches. It's so weird looking back and wondering how so many of my really close friends became strangers. There obviously comes a time where people change and many times this draws a wedge between weak friendships. You know someone is meant to be in your life when they stick around through everything. 

Recently, I have had a falling out with a friend. 
One of the most awkward situations is not talking to one of your best friends for like 6 months and then all of a sudden trying to make everything go back to normal.  Where do you even began? How do you just forget everything that happened before and just start again? It's very common for this to happen but it seems to me that if it happened in the first place this friendship isn't as solid as I thought. Everyone and every friend is different, I know that but I know for a fact that with some of my other friends this could never happen. Who are we kidding, we couldn't last a few days let alone 6 months without speaking to each other! 

Getting older I came to terms with a few things about friendships
1. If they are supposed to be in your life, they will.
2. If they make no effort to be in your life, forget them.
3. If they there interests are for themselves only, drop them.
4. Forgiving and forgetting is easier said then done. 
5. People mess up, if they are truly apologetic, forgive them.   



Drifting apart happens. Always remember though if a friendship is important to you, make an effort, it is not a one way street.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Loving YOU.

Love will come when it comes. Many times us girls tend to create this absolute insane thought in our head that we are going to be alone forever just because we are single right now. This is very wrong and probably not healthy in more than a few ways. First off ladies you need to know something, in order to be in a loving relationship, you must love yourself equally. This does not mean to always put your needs before his or to care only about yourself. Some people may not realize this but the relationship you have with yourself is above all, the most important relationship you need to work on. How can you be happy with someone else, when your not happy with yourself. You know this rule about your inner relationship does not only apply in love but in life as well. It is important to have that ability even through the toughest times to mentally help yourself. 


1. To the ladies who need attention ALL the time.
The fact that you crave compliments and do things purposely for a reaction from others is not a promising way of working on your inner relationship. If you actually think others compliments will eventually mirror your own thoughts about yourself, you are completely wrong. You are tarnishing your relationship with yourself because any positive things you think about yourself have become on the standards of others. If you can't give yourself the attention you deserve you shouldn't be getting it from anyone else.

2. To the ladies who can't be alone. 
Do not go back to the man who treated you like scum because you can not be alone. Why does he deserve 3rd and 4th chances? Because you cant stand being by yourself? This is no excuse. If you are in this position, you inner relationship is on a severe spiral.You are essentially causing more damage to yourself because it is only going to get worse between you guys. Get a hold of yourself, realize he is not the only one out there. There is someone who isn't going to need to use those 2nd and 3rd chances because he won't mess up the first time. With you staying with someone who isn't good for you, you are missing other opportunities. Realize your worth and get out!

3. To the ladies who don't demand respect.
You are a women. If anyone treats you in a disrespectful manner, they do not deserve your attention nor your feelings. If a man does not treat you like an equal, puts you on a pedestal, or worships the ground you walk on he is not worth it. This does not mean he should be your dog, but in a realtionship you are just as important as the other person. If there ever comes a time when the respect begins to decline, you need to quickly deal with the matter before it becomes too late. Demand the respect you deserve.  

4. To the ladies who have had demeaning relationships in the past.
Your past does not define who you are. If you have been in abusive or disrespectful relationships before, you have taken the first step of working on your own relationship because you realized what it is you don't deserve. Now this is the time where you understand what you do deserve. Do not get into another relationship with a person you see the same patterns with. At the end nothing has changed just substituted.   

5. To the ladies who don't think they are beautiful. 
Not even the most beautiful girl in the world wakes up feeling like the most beautiful girl in the world. It is very normal to feel down sometimes but to hate what you look like all the time is not okay. God made you who you are for a reason, and no matter what anyone says, it is you who needs to realize your true beauty. The way you view yourself is your reflection on life. Tell yourself everyday that no matter what they say, you are beautiful in every single way.  

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Lets Talk About S-E-X

This ladies is a very important blog post so please, read on! 

We all know how amazing sex is, when it's done right of course. We all have had years of boring sex ed classes, but still some of us just don't get it. I want to make one thing clear, this is not a lecture. I have heard time and time again that girls have had unprotected sex and it honestly makes me so angry! I know that most of the time your are so in the moment and the feeling without condoms is so much better, but did all those disturbing images and consequences shown in sex ed not scare you enough? 

Let us get some things straight...
Are you in a monogamous relationship?
If the answer is no, you stop for a quick second and just tell him to wrap it up. 
You don't know who he has been with, who his other partners have been with so why are you making your chances of being a statistic so vulnerable? I promise you those 30 min of unprotected sex was NOT worth living with an STD. Luckily there are some STDs that can be cured, but why take your chances. Use Condoms Kids.

Now for those who are in a relationship and the sex ain't all that and a bag of chips, here is what you can do. 
If your in a relationship and your having sex you should be semi comfortable with the other person(one would hope) and if your not liking something or wanting more or a certain move, say something. Yes, sometimes it can be very awkward and you don't want to offend the other person so you just don't say anything at all. I'm sorry but that doesn't seem fair! Believe me, he wants to please you so if you tell him you like something, that'll make him more confident. Back tracking to condoms, just because you are in relationship doesn't mean you should be playing sans protection either. Getting tested is always important so check yourself out and your man should too. Although BC is great prevention in the baby department it does absolutely nothing against STDs, but at least your doing something right! 

The most important thing I want you to get from this is that you, the woman, are in control.

Monday, January 23, 2012

V_Day.

Hey there! How are all those NY resolutions going so far? It's okay I already know the answer. 

The Hallmark holiday of the year is approaching and it is literally shoved in our faces from the grocery store to the massive display at (my fav)Target. Either your super excited for Feb 14th or absolutely dreading it, either way I have a couple of fun ideas on what you could do. 

Single :  Just because you don't have a significant other does NOT mean you are alone. I mean haven't you heard Kelly Clarkson (What Doesn't Kill You) lately? Ha. No but seriously do not sweat it if you are single, all you gotta do is get a couple of girls over, pop open a bottle of pinot and have a cute dinner. Not that you should wait until Valentine's Day to have a getty but it's a good excuse. I have plenty of yummy recipes so if needed you can always ask. Girlfriends are the best to spend the "day of love" together, because lets be honest where would we be without them?

WARNING: If you are single do not read on, it might make you vom. 

Taken : Everyone obviously always says you don't need to have a specific day to show your love and appreciation to each other, but who cares what everyone else says, its fun! Restaurants on V-day are quite obnoxious! With wait times varying from 1 hour to 1.5 hours, without reservations it isn't fun for anyone. Time to get creative and think about something else you can do. Its not always the guys job to be romantic sometimes us girls need to wow them too. Get some bubbly, make some bubbles and spend some time appreciating each other with a nice hot bath. Candles and some music might be so cheese but what do you have to lose.

Although 3 weeks away I will gladly aid those who need help with special plans for their V_day! MSG me , Tweet me or simply leave a comment 

XX - T

Sunday, January 8, 2012

The One that Keeps Coming Back

So what do you do when someone who has caused you so much pain comes running back? 

It is quite difficult to let anybody back in once they hurt you. Whether it's a friend or a previous lover, once burned it is hard to trust again. 

Today I am strictly talking about the one running back in relationships. I've always gone by the theory that no matter what people tell you, you’re going to do what you want anyway. So I come to a crossroads when a friend asks me for advice about an ex coming back into the picture, when I spent so much time mending the pain he initially caused. There are always exceptions and it ultimately comes down to why you broke up in the first place. One of the most clichéd quotes that describe situations like this is, "you don't know what you have until it's gone". Men can be so one dimensional therefore clichés stick so well.

Sometimes if the man is lucky enough you give him a second chance, but ladies you have to know that sometimes a man is so lethal you MUST let him go. Of course there is probably no better feeling than having someone crawl back. For them to feel just 1/10 of the pain of not having what they want compared to what you have suffered. There are a few ways to go about this. I have seen firsthand two very different situations happen that I am going to share. 

B- Boy G-Girl
Couple A: B and G have been together for a total of 4ish years. In that time period B has broken up with G about 3 different times all for basically the same reason. It usually ends up with "he isn't happy anymore", well turns out after about an average of two months he comes running back every single time. All in all this B is very good to G except he has the same routine when it comes to break ups, which is simply selfish. The last break up though lasted the longest and G really changed. She realized that being in this relationship for so long has stopped her from going out and having a good time with friends. In this time between she developed a different lifestyle and when he came back and wanting another chance, she gives him an ultimatum. G was extremely distraught after the last break up and she really did have to turn her life upside down. It doesn't take a day to just get over it, remember what you had, and get back into a relationship. Lucky for him she gave him two options; 1. Stick around, accept my life as it is, and try to win me back or 2. Give up now because this isn't going to come easy. Smart B goes for option 1 and couple A are trying to restore what the once had, but remember B three strikes and you are out.

Couple B: Like couple A couple B have been together for about 4 years. Those four years though have been nothing but easy. A lot of heart ache was laced in this relationship and trust was a big issue. G made a few mistakes but B was not an easy person to deal with. Sometimes teenage love is hard to just get over. So the last year of their relationship was filled with nasty actions and G trying to make it work. Seems like 6 months later B realized what an amazing G he lost. Because it came to a point at the end where G just couldn't do it anymore, and she realized she didn't have to. She finally understood what she was worth. Now, G obviously still cares about B, but in my opinion the only factor that should bring them back together is B's sincere attempt to sweep her off her feet. Sometimes it takes a little maturity and time apart to help boys change. Change is definitely possible, but if it’s just back to the old ways, it’s time to move on.